Chow Chow Rescue : Maryland DC area

I was researching computer recovery for my job at b5media, writing about PCs  and saw this article:
The Disklabs Data Recovery 2006 Top Ten of Data Recovery Disasters

1. ‘My cat urinated on my laptop’ – A Toshiba laptop was sent in to the technicians at Disklabs in the hope that the data could be saved from the hard disk of the laptop which had been urinated on by a clients pet Persian Blue.
2. ‘It fell off the roof of the car’ – A sales person was in a hurry to get to his next appointment, and placed his laptop on the roof of his car, while he placed all his demo products into the vehicle. Needless to say, he forgot the laptop on the roof and drove off. He stated ‘ I was doing about 40mph when I say it in the rear view mirror’
3. ‘I accidentally drove over it’ – was the reason for having to send the MP3 player into Disklabs®. The client didn’t realise that the MP3 player had fallen out of her pocket, and accidentally drove over the offending device.
4. ‘We just sacked the IT manager and he started kicking the server’ – The IT manager wasn’t up to the job of managing the IT department, so it was decided to ask him to leave. The person in question decided that he would be happier if he broke the server prior to leaving. This was achieved by kicking the server until it stopped working, causing lots of data to be corrupted and hardware damage to the hard drives.
5. ‘There was a bit of oil on it?’ What was later found out was that there was oil damage on a laptop computer from a spillage on an oil rig. The oil spilled was a substantial amount, approximately 120 barrels of crude was spilt over this clients laptop.
6. ‘I accidentally threw it out of a window’ – the claim from a student who was ‘messing around’ with his room-mates laptop. Instead of pretending to throw the laptop out of the window, he actually did – much to the dismay of his room-mate.
7. ‘She just got stroppy and snapped it in half’ – This is what we were told by a client whose husband thought she was having an affair. The phone, a Motorola V3 Razor was literally snapped in half by the upset wife. Disklabs only received one half of the phone, and was still able to retrieve all the SMS messages and contacts.
8. ‘The dog has had a go at it’ – a Staffordshire bull terrier took a liking to its owners camera and bit into it. The memory card inside took a bit of damage, and arrived still wet from dog saliva.
9. ‘I was showing my friend how to delete data on the spare hard drive – but I deleted the wrong one’ – this helpful client tried to assist one of his workmates and mistakenly deleted the good data and left the data which should have been destroyed.
10. ‘My wife threw my laptop down a well’ – All we can say is that there was a bit of a ‘marital dispute’, and that the excuses given were apparently not acceptable to the wife. Revenge was taken and the husband’s laptop was promptly thrown into a 60 foot well.

I borrowed this from Saluqi’s live journal, who said “This was lifted from a dog list I’m on, it’s neatly observed.” Remember, this is humor…

Care and management of humans

• You should have your human fixed, even if it’s a purebred human. There are too many humans, and our big cities are over populated with them to the point where we are unable to feed and shelter all of them.

• If your human talks too much, we suggest using a shock collar.

• If you must breed your human, even though we do not believe there are any good reasons for breeding humans, at least do genetic screening to help ensure your human is a healthy one that conforms to breed standards.

• Some humans are very hyper and will pull on their leash constantly. For these extreme cases, we recommend a choker collar.

• If your human is aggressive and frequently starts fights, please put a muzzle on it when you take it out in public.

• You should feed your human something better than Purina human chow.

• If your human is sick, you should not put it down just because you can’t afford the cost of surgery. You should re-arrange your budget or mortgage your dog house.

• Don’t buy a human for your puppy just to teach it responsibility.

• You should always carry “money” treats to reward your human. Humans love money and will do almost anything for money treats.

• If your human attacks a dog, it should be put to sleep.

• If you already own a male & a female human, you should be careful about getting a third human. Two males will often fight very aggressively for the attention of the female, and two females will often do the same over a male human.

• A good way to test a human for temperament is to takes its money or food away from it to see if it reacts aggressively.

• Some humans have a bad habit of peeing in the water bowl; if your human continuously goes to the bathroom in the house, we suggest you chain it outside.

I also received the following top 10 list in early April email w. no attribution, it’s too funny not to pass along. (Dog people have no shame; we’ve been trained that way by our best friends):

10 Complaints that dogs have about humans

1. Blaming your farts on me… not funny… not funny at all !!!

2. Yelling at me for barking.. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello ???, Haven’t you noticed the fur?

Now lay off me on some of these thing’s, We both know who’s boss here!!! You don’t see me picking up your poop do you ???

—————–end of top 10 list———————

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